I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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