Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize