No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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