So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
