I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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