okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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