I showed him my bush... on skype.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
