Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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