You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We had sex on a dog bed..
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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