apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
