You work out of a Hotel?
Your dad touched me again.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
