whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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