I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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