The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
