so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
