she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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