So drunk, too bad you don't want this
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
