Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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