I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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