Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
