How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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