I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
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you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
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It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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