At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
