We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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