try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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