i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize