I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
