just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
