My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
