There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
