Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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