Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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