my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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