We're like a lot better than the average bears
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
