Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
