perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
