even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
