Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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