Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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