Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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