So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
