The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
