Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
