Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
