New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize