Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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