You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
