break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
