Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
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Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
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Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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