What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
