i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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