That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Ketchup is God's man juice
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
