so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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