I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
