i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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