I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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