I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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