sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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