porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
