Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
