I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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