this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
